Monday, June 7, 2010
It seems quite a long time i never watch myself in detail from the mirror. one day,i took out my little mirror look at myself,i found that i look old already.my skin,my eyes are so terrible. it doesn't looks like a 23 young lady.the skin is dry,wrinkles have came out,the big panda eyes,big poles, pimples scars. OMG! is this selinashio? i myself also can't accept it. i looked ill, down, un-fresh! and i JUST REALIZED it! maybe i should learn to love myself more before i wanna learn to love others.
im having my holiday now.as usual,no outside activity no traveling holiday again.everyday stay at home eat,sleep,on9,gaming and tv. it seems relaxing but its a meaningless holiday.sometimes feel like go travel alone,look at the world outside.i quite jealous with my friends, every holiday, they will go traveling with their friends,family or partner.but me?just stay at home.such a boring holiday.school reopened, my friends will shared their holiday happiness with me, and i only can be the listener listen to their experiences how they enjoy their holiday.i always said i have no friend,he asked me need to learn how to social with peoples if want more friends.but where is the chance?when i said this,he will said chance is not for wait but should fight for ourselves.i know it!but my holiday always crashed with my secondary friends,they are not around when im holiday.how to get close to them?college friends all from different state.once holiday they will back their own hometown and won't be here anymore.they all have their own planning.what can i do?he always ask me can know more juniors, try to be the 1st one start the 1st step,but he doesn't know my situation. i did tried but i fell down. i've make someone hate me and scold me bck.imagine a senior been scolded by junior.what is the feeling?although untill now i still did not feel the mistake is from me but this experience has makes me do not have the encourage to get close with them anymore.their "channel" and my "channel" is different,can't connect together.haizz..........speechless.maybe everything here are just an EXCUSE for myself not to get close with people. i wish i can be an active and not passive people. this is the life lesson i should learn!